When I graduated high school ten years ago I decided that I no longer wanted to hide who I was and wanted to let my closest friends and family know that I was gay. It was the night of my graduation and I went over to a friends house to celebrate. While there, I decided it was time to let everyone know. First, I pulled aside my twin brother to let him know that news, but he was not happy when I told him. He wanted to pray over me and said it was a phase, and that it would just pass. My best friend was had the same reaction. When I told them both that I wanted to tell my mom about my sexuality, they both said "NO". This negative response to me coming out forced me back into the closet for another two years. Once in college there were a few people who were a little more open and accepting of my sexuality. I remember there was one girl who pulled me aside to ask if I was gay. I contemplated lying to her, but I decided to tell her the truth. When I did she said "I knew you were. You are too good of a dancer not to be." We both began to laugh hysterically. As time went on, I began to open up to more and more people that I trusted. This help me become more comfortable with myself and my sexuality. However, I did not want my sexuality to define, who I was as a man.
Become Comfortable With Who You Are.
This is the first and foremost thing that needs to happen before you come out. It is important that you love yourself for who you are, and don't say negative things about your sexuality. You can't expect others to accept you for who you are if you do not. This can take some time and some soul searching. So don't feel bad if you some time to fully accept yourself. It is hard to go against the "status quo". Especially with people trying to dehumanize you for your sexuality. Stay strong and be honest with yourself.
Find A Safe Place
It is nice to have a place to go where you can talk about what you are dealing with on a daily basis. Most colleges nowadays have a club or organization on campus that will be a safe place to go. Also, if you are not comfortable enough to share with your peers, there are always counselor available. Seek these groups or individuals out and they can help you with you talking out your issues. Remember that the people who are in these groups or counselors at your school are not here to judge you.
Create A Support System
When you are coming out and begin to become more comfortable and accepting of who you are, it is nice to surround yourself with people who are going to be there for you. Not necessarily a structure group on campus, but a cohort a friends who you are comfortable enough sharing and know that they are there for you. This support system will help you when you begin to think negatively of who you are or that you are going to be an embarrassment to your loved ones. They are there to reassure you that you are who you are and that they love you unconditionally.
Coming out is a hard thing to do for a lot of people. I hope these few tips will help those who need them. Do you have a coming out story you would like to share? Please comment in the box below.
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