You Don't Need to Be Superwoman

"Superwoman role is a multidimensional phenomenon encompassing characteristics such as obligation to manifest strength, emotional suppression, resistance to vulnerability and dependence, determination to succeed, and obligation to help others." - Cheryl L. Woods-Giscombe' 

There are many benefits to having the "superwoman" mentality, such as the ability to help others, follow your ambitions, and take on a challenge. However, the superwoman mentality can overshadow the need to take care of your own physical and emotional needs in order to be considered strong. This can lead to a mountain of stress, which starts a domino effect to various physical and mental health issues. Therefore, today's post will discuss actions that you can take to lose the cape and start living a more balanced life.

1. Say "NO." For clarification, this doesn't mean to never help, but it means to value your time and fulfill your priorities before you overwhelm yourself with others. This is something I still struggle with because I want to help if I can. Oftentimes, when a friend asks me for a favor or to go somewhere, I'll stop what I'm doing to help, which causes me to become behind in my priorities. However, if I don't do it, then I'll feel guilty for not helping or attending an event. In order to help with this, I say no when people ask to me to get involved unless it's for professional development, a responsibility in my role, a special occasion, or for fun. As a college student, you may get asked to go out on a Thursday night, even though you have an early morning class on Friday. Or you may get asked to take on additional responsibilities in a student organization, but you have a heavy academic load. Do yourself a favor and say no.

2. Delegate. I was a firm believer that "If you want something done right, you have to do it yourself." As I've grown, I've learned that just because something is not done my way, doesn't mean it's not done well. Therefore, it's important to let people help you. When I founded Accepted To A Degree, I was initially nervous about launching a blog with a demanding work schedule and planning a wedding in another state. Thankfully, I have a talented team, who I can depend on to share their time and expertise to help the blog grow and produce quality content. With that being said, entrust the people in your life to help make your load a little lighter.Whether that be having your roommate or spouse share cooking responsibilities and/or alternating household chores. Every little bit counts and the people, who love you, will be willing to help if you allow them.

3. Pencil In "Me-Time." When you have a busy schedule, it's important to make time for yourself. This could be participating in a fun activity, journaling, or doing a whole bunch of nothing. It's your time to take your mind off responsibilities and enjoy the present. For example, I'm guilty of using my lunch break to get more tasks done, instead of taking mental break and recharging. However, when I do decide to utilize my lunch break, I'm much more productive and upbeat in the afternoon. On Thursdays evenings in the Fall, I'm not concerned about anything but Scandal. "Me-Time" gives me the opportunity to recharge and take my mind off of my ever-growing to-do lists. Whatever you decide that you want your "me-time" to be, when someone asks you to do something during this time, the answer should be that you're busy.

4. Vent & Be Vulnerable. Disappointment is another part of life. Therefore, it's important to have a few trusted individuals to confide in when negative events occur. Whether it's reading a rejection letter from a grad school program or not getting a job that you interviewed for, it's ok to feel sad and disappointed. Allow yourself to be vulnerable in front of your confidants so you don't bottle those feelings inside. You will be surprise how many others are wearing the same mask and can relate to the struggles that you are going through.

5. Help Yourself Before You Help Others. If you ever traveled on an airplane, then you're familiar with the rule "put the oxygen mask on yourself first before you help the person next to you." Although this may seem selfish, if you can't breathe, you won't be much help. With respect to college, finish your assignments, before helping a classmate with his or hers. At work, make sure your main responsibilities are handled before taking on more. The more you take care of yourself, the more you will be able effectively to help others.

As women, we have the ability to do it all, but that doesn't mean we should. You don't have to be superwoman to live a fulfilling life and be a caring person. Take care of yourself and allow yourself to enjoy the present as you prepare for your future. If you have any additional tips about how to overcome the Superwoman mentality, please feel free to leave them in the comments section below.

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