At this moment you are probably feeling blissful and anxious to begin your journey. Even as a post graduate and professional, I can vividly recall three things that thrilled me most about attending college: (1) having the opportunity to live on my own, (2) no rules (so I thought) and (3) having my “own” room. I spent countless nights imagining what my roommate would be like; I also visualized how we would decorate our room and uplift one another when faced with adversities.
As time drew closer, I began to complete tasks listed on my “before going to college” to do list. However, during my last day home, I noticed that I overlooked one of the most important tasks a college-bound student should accomplish before arriving to his/her institution: connecting with your soon-to-be roommate prior to moving in. Regrettably, both my roommate and I failed to reach out to one another and as a result, we did not know each other’s names, appearance, likes or dislikes. I can recollect wallowing the entire way to the university because all I could think about was how my roommate and I were complete strangers; and truthfully it was terrifying. The mistake of not being acquainted with one another in advance caused our first interactions to be dreadfully awkward and our relationship rapidly deteriorated as the months passed.
Unfortunately, my first roommate experience was unsuccessful. Nonetheless, I departed that relationship with an abundance of valuable lessons and with time, I learned how to connect and build great relationships with my new roommates. In this blog I provide effective ways to help make connecting with your roommate for the first time stress-free and interesting. Before connecting take time to self-reflect:
Decide what type of information you would like to learn from your roommate: Refrain from asking or expecting your roommate to divulge information that even you are not willing to share.
Write down the answers to questions you anticipate your roommate to ask: This will help you get ahead, reply clearly and avoid being nervous which could lead to over sharing and babbling.
Know the name of your hall and room number: Use this information to confirm that you and your roommate are indeed sharing the same space.
How to connect:
There are numerous methods that you can use to connect with your roommate: Email, letters, Facebook, FaceTime, Snapchat, Skype, Google Hangout, phone calls or text messages just to name a few. Knowing what method of communication to use will be influenced by the type of contact information your roommate provides to you. Through my experience, I have learned that phone calls, texts and/or emails are sufficient for initial contact. If either of you are apprehensive with inviting unknown individuals into your social life, then methods such as: Skype and Facebook can become options once trust and comfort is established.
When to connect:
Be daring and reach out first: In most cases your roommate is just as anxious to learn and hear from you. However, be mindful that he/she may have a delay in connecting due to him/her living some distance away and receiving their room assignment after you. Therefore, avoid postponing and take the lead.
Timing is everything: Make effort to connect with your roommate within the first month of receiving your room assignment [this should happen between May-July]. If you choose to delay, be sure to reach out at least one month before the move in date. Lastly, when connecting, it is important to remain professional; reach out between business hours of 8am-5pm (unless your roommate specify differently); be cautious of time zones!Response time: It is human nature to anticipate a quick response to our request. However, is it beneficial to have patience because for some students the summertime is occupied with things like employment, vacations, travel, and summer school etc. Which means responding immediately may not be an option. Give your roommate 1-2 weeks to reply before contacting a second time. Additionally, it is important to establish timely communication to achieve this all parties must remain consistent and punctual.
Frequency: How often you and your roommate would like to connect is an agreement developed by both parties. Some may agree to chat once a month, spontaneously, daily, or bi-weekly. Secondly, frequency will also depend on how much time exists between the first time connecting and your campus move in date.
Connecting with a new roommate for the first time can take you out of your comfort zone. The information above may simply serve as a foundation for you and your roommate to build off of, it can be altered and shifted to make fit for your situation. From my rooming experiences, I learned that you have to be adaptable- just because you and your roommate match on paper does not mean everything will be perfect. Nevertheless, starting off on a productive and comfortable foot will help things go a lot smoother. Check back on Thursday for tips on what to talk about with your roommate. For more information about my colligate experiences and professional expertise, please follow me on twitter @OnABeatifulWay.
Yours truly,
Brandi Cox
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